talk to the heart

Happy Wednesday Ya'll!

for so many of us out there today is our "Tuesday" after this wonderful holiday weekend, which makes it that more exciting when you realize its actually Wednesday! wooo hooo.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend, and spent it with some of your loved ones all while keeping in mind that the reason for the holiday was to remember those who have given up those times and so much more, with family and friends to fight for our freedom. I spent the weekend in Pittsburgh, PA to celebrate the wedding coming in August of two dear friends. We went to the Phipps Conservatory which was beautiful and than had an amazing dinner downtown and Sunday went to a beautiful hotel called the The George Washington for the bridal shower the next day. We had a little too much fun and I made some great friends out of strangers and acquaintances.

Many talks this weekend found themselves about the subject of self esteem, different lifestyles, casting aside other peoples views and just doing what makes you happy. In the recent weeks I've found how important it is for the soul to only surround (speak/follow/friend/whatever) myself around those who are positive (overall positive..we all have our days), and that certainly doesn't mean that they live-speak-look-or eat the same as me. All it means is they aren't gonna give me grief for being me, and I will certainly not give them heck for being them. Now right now before I rant on more, I am not saying under any circumstances I don't find myself judgeing others, or speaking negativity, lord I wish I could just turn that part of my human nature off, but I can't....its a daily battle to keep them negative thoughts out of my head. That being said...I have decided to trim those people out of my life that bring me down. My own thoughts can bring me down by themselves sometimes, I don't need others aiding in that struggle. This weekend I connected and bonded with some folks that really have some beautiful souls, yes they have their own struggles with negativity, we all do..that's for sure.

Looking back on the weekend, full of lots of ladies, changing, dressing up, fixin' hair and makeup, changing again, and (in my case) changing a few more times...we of course fell into " friendly fat talk" probably not as bad as we could of, but it happened. My lordy I feel like it happens daily in women's lives, and it breaks my heart. You know what I'm talking about..."ugh I can't wear this it makes my stomach look bad"..."I have got to stop eating these brownies".....it's a conversation women have daily. We've been doing it since we starting copying our mothers who were doing it. It's part of society, and it needs to change. Yesterday the New York Times had an article about this called "Fat Talk", and that is where this thought began in my head and got me thinking about the weekend. I think everyone, especially women, should read this RIGHT NOW. We need to start thinking about what were saying about ourselves to each other, and especially in front of young girls!! It hurts my heart thinking about any 10 year old girl being on a "diet". This month I've been participating in "No Weigh May", which means I haven't stepped on a scale in 29 days, at first I felt empowered by it..I went through a time when I just forgot about wanting to do it, and now that I'm becoming aware that the month is almost over...I find myself nervously thinking...

"what if it didn't change?"
"what if it went UP!?"

"what if it only went down 2 pounds?"

I hate that my mind goes there, but it does. Yes I can rationally think, the number doesn't define me, but after so many years of letting myself be self conscious about that number its hard to just let it all go in a few simple weeks...but I'm trying. I want to try for myself, for other women, and most importantly for that possibly future daughter of mine. I couldn't imagine how I would devastated I would be knowing the words I used made her be unhappy with herself in any little itty bitty way. So yes I know it's going to continue to happen, and I'm going to say things negative, think negative thoughts, and people all over the world are going to too....but you have to start somewhere. A strong tree doesn't grow over night.

Lordy, I know rant of rants today...I just have found myself becoming very passionate about self exceptance as well as excepting others for what ever they wanna be. We gotta stop beating each other up. Starting building each other up, and build beautiful things together.

Big...Small....Loud....Quiet....Beautiful...& Happy in your own way.